The coming holidays bring about expectations of repeated good times, or repeated stress.  For some families the holidays are a fun reunion of relationships deeply cherished.  For other families Thanksgiving and Christmas are something to get through without emotional blood shed.  If yours is the later then why not change it now, before the event is upon you.  Here is what I did when I was in the process of changing my story around my family’s get togethers.  For 15 minutes just before bed, just after brushing my teeth, I would go through the day I just had.  In my mind’s eye I would start from the moment I awoke and go through the minutes of my day.  Each thought, action, reaction, defense, judgment, justification, blame, resentment, or self put down that I could remember I would simply forgive.  Forgive myself and any other person that in my mind was a party to my destructive thoughts. I did not work on the big uglies of my childhood, my relationship with my family or unloving happenings still remembered.  I just worked on the day just completing.  This exercise created an energy of forgiveness in me that crept up on me and soon became a way of thinking.  The next holiday with my family something major had changed – and it wasn’t my family.  I have had wonderful moments of connection, fun and support from my family since that time.  Maybe not the exact experiences I had always wished for – but definitely as valuable and heartwarming.   I can think of no greater gift to give yourself or your loved ones this holiday season – forgive.